Quarantined

 

La quarentena , the time a new mother stays confined after childbirth literally means “40 days” and is the origin of  the english word “quarantine”.  Many of us endured a time of isolation after we gave birth. We know how hard it was, even when the world was safely humming along outside our doors, and support was available.  We had FOMO, exhaustion, and a feelings of disorientation and limbo.  Now the FOMO is gone–there isn’t much to miss out on. We have a whole new layer of fear and lack of support, whether our children are infants or teenagers.  Almost everyone on the planet is self quarantined, in their sweats all day unable to remember when they last showered.

The world has been turned upside down in a matter of weeks and is changing by the day.   We know that women will bear the brunt of the quarantine,  with schools and child care centers closed and jobs that lack benefits. We are in a period of free fall. It will take some time before we start thinking clearly and find solutions to our new predicament.

Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can, even when you are in the closet having a panic attack. Your amygdala, the part of your brain that signals threat is over activated and hyper-vigilant. It’s not easy trying to remember not to touch your face when you have a crying baby in your arms.  All this hyper-vigilance is exhausting to our nervous systems. We need to find small ways, often, to soothe our nervous system.

At least once a day do something that helps you relax and be present.  A walk outside (if it’s possible), connecting with loved ones virtually, slow deep breathing, an online yoga class. Below, I have included a guided relaxation called GRACE. It is a practice of taking a few minutes to tune in, rest and reconnect. There are more practices that are ideal for these times in our book, “Breathing Space For New Mothers”

In the days and weeks to come I will be in touch with you. I’d love to hear about your experiences, what you need, what you have found helpful and ways that we can support each other during these tough times.  It’s hard, I won’t sugar coat it or yogafy it by calling it a “self-retreat” or “spa day’, its not. I won’t try to have you see the bright side–yet. We will get through this together, one day at a time. This is temporary and  we are strong and we are resilient.

Postpartum support has online meetings for new mothers.