“A prayer couched in the words of the soul, is far more powerful than any ritual.”
―Paulo Coelho, Brida
Through parenthood we die and are reborn a thousand times. We go from couple to family, parents of infants to parents of toddlers. Each of these transitions can feel like loss. In the birth of the toddler is the loss of the infant. I remember feeling confused one night not long before I gave birth to my second child. I was lying down on my son’s bed, his body curled around the space my very pregnant belly occupied. Suddenly a heavy poignant sadness descended as I realized he would no longer be my one and only baby boy. Ever again. The feeling passed, but I remember wishing that I could ritualize the moment, the change, this passing.
Yoga has become that ritual or prayer of the heart for me.
I bring all the feelings that come with transition onto the mat, including the poignant sense of loss. I bring as much love and compassion as I can muster and I begin. Vinyasa is my yoga of choice for these moments. Breath leads movement, one posture dies into the birth of the next. Warrior 1 becomes Warrior 2 becomes plank and on and on. I dance, I pray, I breathe and sometimes I cry. I breathe the stories behind. When they start, I come back to the breath, sensation, flow.
Almost always when I leave my mat, there is more room for the joy, pride, satisfaction and excitement that a child’s development engenders. I haven’t pushed the sadness aside and forced “the good” but somehow there is more space and it takes up residence.
For the big transitions we have rituals of community. I wish we had more, we should make more. A prayer couched in the words of many shared souls is truly powerful. But for the small miracles of parenthood, I take to my mat and create a ritual that feels like prayer–and sometimes it sounds a lot like Anne Lamott’s favorite prayers, “help me, help me, help me, and thank you, thank you, thank you.”
How do you do to mark these transitions?
“May we all allow for change, may we all feel safe, may our lives unfurl with ease.”
If you live in Boulder, come join me for a new series of classes Wed. evenings beginning Sept.12 at YoMama Yoga Studio. We will create vinyasa rituals of warm support.
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