“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”― Mahatma Gandhi
What do you believe in? Many parents have beliefs about children that they aren’t really aware of. Our beliefs come from our childhood, our community, and our culture. Our beliefs, especially the ones we are not aware of, affect our thoughts, words and our actions as parents. But if someone asked you, “So, what do you believe?” It might be hard to answer. It is for me. So, I work backwards.
Watch what you do and you may get some clues about what you believe. If you find yourself rushing around a lot of the time, you may believe that productivity is equated with success and therefore your child, who is slowing you down, is an obstacle to success. If you regularly take care of your child’s needs and ignore your own, you may believe that your needs don’t matter. If you find yourself late often, maybe you believe that children’s needs for flexibility are more important than punctuality.
Yoga teaches us to observe what is, and to pause between observing and judging. In that pause, is an opportunity for insight, self-compassion and forgiveness. We may find that some of our unexamined beliefs don’t hold up in the light of awareness, but that others do. We have the choice to let the outdated belief go. The space that was occupied by that belief is now open and free. Like a gardener we have just weeded a patch of garden. We are suddenly filled with hope about what we might now cultivate. On the other hand, you may discover a belief that was, up until now, dormant and that you want to strengthen. You can fertilize those beliefs, give them sunlight, and watch them grow, by saying them out loud. You can write them down and dress up your bathroom mirror with them. As we explore and bring to light our beliefs, weed out the unhealthy ones and strengthen the healthy ones, our actions will start to change.
On The Mat
Our yoga mats are the perfect place for self-study. When we come to a difficult moment, say extended hold in warrior, we can either back out or stay longer in the pose and go more deeply. It is this moment, as we breathe, right before we act, that we notice, “What am I thinking, what do I believe and how does this thought lead to my next action?” It is so much easier to observe our thinking on our mat, where there are fewer distractions. Whatever you observe, take a moment to be grateful for the awareness, the information, and the opportunity. Blanket yourself in kindness, rather than judgment, knowing that awareness brings freedom, the freedom to cultivate forgiveness, compassion and kindness.
Off The Mat
Bring this same kind of awareness to your day. Notice your actions and habits this week. And then, if possible, notice the thought right before the action. Is there a belief under the thought? Simply notice, and then notice if you are judging yourself. This is what the mind does. Counter the impulse to judge with a compassionate moment; a compassionate pause in the action. If you can, share this exploration with a friend or your partner. Compare notes. Start a “This I believe” list. Become intimate with your thoughts and a gardener of your beliefs and see what you can grow.
Check out our facebook page for a wonderful “This I Believe podcast” and then leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.
“May we all be safe, may we all be intimate with our beliefs, may we all be happy”.
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