It doesn’t make you feel more confident, more competent, and more compassionate about yourself and your beautiful unique child.
“time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough”
E.E. Cummings
Do you ever feel confused by all the conflicting advice about how to be a good parent?
There are hundreds of books on how to raise a child from “attachment-style” parenting to “free-range” parenting. Do you ever try one technique one week and another the next, only to find that they don’t work because the technique isn’t in harmony with your child’s needs or your personality?
My suggestion is take a sabbatical from parenting advice. Clear the shelves and your mind for a little while.
Once you have done that, start to observe yourself and your baby. Watch the ebb and flow of energy throughout the day. What makes you smile? What makes your baby feel calm and happy? How does it feel to be close? When do you need to take a break? Try and let go of judgment. How does that feel?
Then ask yourself, “what matters, what’s really important? Think of someone you deeply admire. What qualities do they embody? The Dali Lama has said, “my religion is kindness.” What is yours? Let that guide your decisions as a parent.
Just three things
- Get to know yourself and your child with acceptance
- Let your deepest core values guide you
- Be flexible
On The Mat
- After warming up, give yourself three sun salutations, noticing how you feel before and after. Notice how your body moves today, your energy level, your emotional tone, your muscles and joints.
- Stand on your own two feet in Tadasana and find the perfect distance for your feet, they may be hip width apart, they may be wider or closer. Find stability for you.
- Tree Pose- bring awareness to your core, energize from the pelvic floor up through the sternum, allow the pelvic bone to lift. Hands on hips shift your weight to the left foot and bring your right foot to the front of your left thigh if that is available, otherwise bring your right foot to left angle. Find a spot three feet in front, your drishti, and focus. That focus is what helps you maintain balance in the same way your core values keep you balanced in your decision making as a parent. You may wobble, you may fall, but you can keep coming back into balance. Repeat on other side.
Off The Mat
- Take some time to observe yourself and your child today, especially notice what makes you both smile.
- Think of someone you admire. What is it about them? Is it their honesty, compassion, enthusiasm, dedication, creativity? Write these qualities down and post them around the house. Share them with your partner, find out who they admire and why.
Journal Prompts
- Write down three things that made you smile and your child smile this week.
- Write down, or better yet, get a picture of a person you admire. What qualities do they embody?
- How do those qualities inform your decisions as a person and parent?
“May we all feel safe, may we all feel at ease, in this one unique life that is ours”
Let me know how it feels to take a sabbatical from all the parenting advice.
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