At a Yoga of Parenting workshop the other day, a participant said she thought she was looking for more calm, and realized it was lightness she was seeking. What is the relationship between feeling calm and feeling a sense of lightness? They are sisters, and they are both born of safety.
When children feel safe, they play, when they don’t feel safe, they don’t play. Is it so different for parents? When we are afraid for our own safety or that of our children, even mildly afraid, we feel serious, tense, over-focused. So, it might be worth asking ourselves, “what are we afraid of?” What do we need to change in order to feel safe so that we can feel playful and light? The answer for you may be challenging and complicated or it may be as simple as making friends, tenderly, with the truth of change and uncertainty.
Nadine Stair was 85 and looking back when she wrote:
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER, I’d make more mistakes. I’d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, And if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
What would make it possible for you to have “perhaps more actual troubles, but fewer imaginary ones…to have more moments?
On The Matt– Our yoga mats can be a safe haven to explore our bodies, our boundaries and our fears. This week take time to slow your practice down, play with your breath, roar like a lion, wiggle in “happy baby”, wag your tail in downward facing dog. Notice how a strong base of support in warrior helps the upper body to float lightly with and open heart. End in child’s pose. Have fun in that sanctuary called yoga.
Off The Mat— Is there a connection between feeling safe and feeling light and playful? Do you have a strong base of support in your life, as in warrior? Notice the moments you are relaxed and playful. What is it about those moments? Can you make more of them? Let’s not wait until we are 85!
Journal Prompts–
- When am I at my most relaxed and playful?
- When am I most tense and serious?
- What one thing can I do today to increase my feelings of safety?
When was the last time you felt safe enough to be silly and goofy?
“May we all feel safe, may we all feel at ease, may we all take more chances.”
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