Boredom Busters

“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”       -Anne Lamott

You’re bored. You’re out of your mind bored. It’s day 3 of your toddler’s cold and you haven’t gotten out of your stained T-shirt and yoga pants or gone out of the house except to walk the dog. Every parent knows what it feels like to be bored. The question is what to do?

One Mom in the Berkeley Parent Network wrote  “And while I love my child and have a lot of fun with him, I often find myself counting the hours till my partner comes home, just out of sheer boredom. I woke up this morning (a day I am not working) with this pit in my stomach knowing I had a whole day to fill ahead of me.” The response was overwhelmingly sympathetic and non-judgmental. Many of the writers felt that their boredom indicated they were not cut out for parenting. The implication being that parenting is not supposed to be boring. And that life is not supposed to be boring.   Many of the mothers decided to put their child in childcare and return to or find jobs outside the home. That may be a great solution for some parents, but it is not the only solution, and in many cases it is trading in one kind of boredom for another.

Boredom Buster #1: Accept that life has periods of repetition and that boredom has the potential to be fertile ground for change and creativity.

Boredom Buster #2: Know that what you are doing has value. No matter whether you are doing a sun salutation for the 10th time, changing a diaper for the 100th or in front of a screen at work, if you can bring your awareness to the value in what you do, you will not be bored.

Boredom Buster #3: Distinguish between boredom and isolation. You can’t ease isolation by simply valuing your role as a parent. The only way to ease isolation is through connection with other people. Some of us need lots of time with other people, others less, but we all need to feel connected to feel healthy and happy. I’ll talk about easing isolation in another post.

We can learn much about working with boredom from our yoga practice. Anyone who practices yoga regularly will have periods of boredom. If you do sun salutation over and over it has the potential, like any other repetitive task, to become boring.

So, how do we work with boredom in Yoga practice?

1. We accept boredom as a human experience,  a thought or feeling, that, like all others, is temporary. Rather than resisting the feeling of boredom, we can notice it with compassion and we might get curious about it, rather than resisting it or trying to cure it. As a result, we may change up our practice, get creative.

2. We keep coming back to the mat, because we believe the practice of yoga has value, that by doing it, even if bored, we will be healthier, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

3. We seek community. Although yoga can be practiced alone and often is, having a community of others who practice, enriches our practice tenfold.

Practice this week:

On The Mat: 

Notice moments of boredom and pay even greater attention to your breath and watch what happens. Try a new more challenging variation of a pose you normally do. Change the way you are breathing to help you pay attention.

If you practice mostly at home alone, try going to a class. It is especially wonderful to practice with other parents. Seek out yoga centers in your community that cater to families like Yo Mama Yoga in Boulder, Co.

Off The Mat:

List all the ways that caring for your young child is important to you and your child. Write the list in bright colors and put it on the Fridge.

Next time you are bored figure out if you are feeling isolated or bored or both. Accept that it is part of the human experience to feel bouts of boredom and restlessness, to think that things would be better if only…. Pay special attention to the present moment, how you feel, what you are doing with your hands or feet, your breath, your child, the smells sounds and sights around you.  The more we bring our attention to this one moment the harder it is to feel bored. Know that this moment is more real than your thoughts of boredom.

Get outside. Change the view, change your breath and know that loving and caring for your child is one of the most important things you will ever do. If all else fails, take a nap.

“May we all be safe, may we all be curious, may our lives unfold with ease.” 

Please note: Sometime prolonged bouts of boredom or lack of motivation and interest can signal depression. If you think you may be depressed, seek help from a trusted healthcare provider who specializes in the special challenges of raising young children.

Alison Rogers Ed.D is a therapist in Boulder, CO. She also teaches The Yoga of Parenting  workshops and provides individual Yoga Of Parenting sessions.